5 Uncomfortable Questions For Children
As adults we understand our language and over time we learn to manage our social behavior. We know what they have wanted to ask us and we recognize when a question does not represent anything serious. However, children have a hard time adjusting to our way of expressing ourselves. A child can become very uncomfortable with questions we ask them.
For little ones, it is difficult to determine when we are being serious. They do not know adult humor very well, and some words are still unknown to them. Therefore, we could get to make them very uncomfortable without realizing it. It is not necessary to force them to answer in any way, or to act as we wish.
Mistakenly we could be hurting preocupándolos small or unimportant things. His intellectual and social development is running at a pace, we do not need to rush. Asking them if they are okay is not something they can understand the way an adult would. It is convenient to be very tactful, especially when they are not our children. Here we explain why.
Things we should never ask children
Why don’t you say hello?
Children have a hard time building trust with people who are not their family. Greet out of courtesy is something that is not learned so easily, in fact, it is sometimes difficult for adults themselves. It is an action that we must teach them, but that we cannot force them to do.
Just as it is difficult for us to talk to people we do not like, it is possible that it also happens to them. Education is very important, that they greet and do not ignore people is part of our social skills. However, sometimes we charge them with behaviors that are not typical of children, for example, when we ask for physical contact.
In the same way, if they are ashamed to greet other adults, it is not convenient to expose them. At home we can talk about this, but we should never face that situation in front of that person. We will make them very uncomfortable, without the need for this to happen.
Why don’t you give me a kiss?
If saying hello can be difficult, imagine giving a kiss. The affection in children is different, they do not need to give kisses and they even feel uncomfortable to receive them. When they feel ready to kiss us, they will. In the meantime, let’s not make them uncomfortable by asking for explanations about something so strange to them.
Now let’s imagine that a child has to explain to us whether he loves us or not. This is not easy to explain, because they do not understand it even if they feel it. For children it means taking a very important step, which is usually required.
And the boyfriend / girlfriend?
This question does not make sense. Not only is it uncomfortable for them, but they also have no answer. Little three-year-olds or ten-year-olds are equally ignorant of these things. They don’t have a boyfriend and they shouldn’t have. These types of relationships are adult, even when we play with it.
Childhood is for playing, growing and learning. Having a boyfriend is not easy even for teenagers. However, they know something about this, so it makes them uncomfortable. They have seen episodes that cause them discomfort and imagine having to discuss this with an adult.
It also happens that these questions are usually asked by a person who is unfamiliar or untrustworthy to the child. In other words, it is doubly uncomfortable to have to answer this very personal question.
Why did you do that?
It is complex to describe the reasons that lead us to perform an act. In most cases children act like children, without thinking of consequences. They do not usually have bad intentions, they are just children’s things.
Questioning them about the reasons that led them to do something that we did not like is not going to change anything. If they feel ashamed that they were wrong, they will be very uncomfortable having to answer for it.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
This question is common and seems harmless, but it can be difficult for children to answer. As they grow older, they begin to form an answer because they have already wondered enough. However, it is not something that worries them, they do not think about it and they do not know what it means.
In addition, it is common for adults to not be satisfied with what they answer us. That is, we will ask you more about something that they do not know. Why do you want to be a doctor? Aren’t you scared of blood? Do you think you can handle such a demanding profession? With all these new uncomfortable questions, the little one will think that he has failed in his answer.
Most of these questions do not seem to us to make the child uncomfortable, so we ask them. However, we must take into account that to a large extent we make this mistake by acting like adults and not putting ourselves at their level of intellect.
