Raising A Child Alone: ​​a Tough But Wonderful Experience

Raising a child alone is not the end of the world. Many fathers and mothers who want it that way, others, on the other hand, face this challenge after experiencing the abandonment of their partner or even the physical loss of the loved one. Be that as it may, we must be clear: raising a child being single is a complex experience, but it can become the best thing in our lives.

Although it is true that until not long ago having a child alone and facing their upbringing in the same way was frowned upon, today things have changed a lot. There are those who choose that way, those who do not want that shared education and those who seek to live the experience without a partner. It is a respectable option that we see more and more frequently.

On the other hand, and perhaps in greater numbers, there are those who have suffered the abandonment of who, until not long ago, was everything, who promised us eternal love and eternal complicity until the pregnancy arrived. Moment before which, only the brave and those who understand responsibility and wise and worthy love, face it, and not out of obligation but out of sense desire, illusion and happiness.

Be that as it may, it is not our purpose to delve into the reason why a mother (sometimes a father) is forced to fulfill both roles. Today in “You are Mom” we want to talk to you about those strategies that can help you on a day-to-day basis, and with which to achieve something that you already know: be stronger than you seem and live what is going to be the best stage of your life .

The truth about raising a child alone

The truth about raising a child alone is simple: it is hard. Others may see a brave woman, a mother who always sees a smile on her face when she takes her child from here to there, but inside her there is a lot going on, a lot of thoughts and feelings to reflect on next.

The fear of not being able to with everything is “there”

The mother who raises her child alone gives the best of herself to the baby or those still young children. She is happy to see them rest peacefully in their beds, but when she does, when she lies down, it is common for her to wake up more than once with a feeling of suffocation in her chest.

• Anxiety and fear are there… what if I can’t handle it all? What if I am fired from work this month? What if I have to ask my parents for help again? What if my child falls ill again now, what will they tell me at work?

• These thoughts are normal They are not irrational fears, they are real fears that the mother who raises her children alone will have more than once . However, each day is new and in each day he achieves incredible things.

The obligation to be “mother” and “father” at the same time

This is a very common mistake that many mothers and fathers who raise their children alone can make: thinking that they must fulfill both roles at the same time.

• We have to be clear about something very simple: we are everything to our children. There is no need to play the classic role of the dad who sanctions and goes to work and the mom who stays at home, who is warm and affectionate. Let us accept that both men and women can carry out all these actions.

• We can be their confidants, their guides, we will be the ones who put limits on them, who tell them what is right and what is wrong, we will be their main source of love… We will be everything.

The mom who raises alone also needs a social life

The mother who raises a child alone runs the risk of focusing all her attention, senses, thoughts and concerns on that child to the point of forgetting herself.

• We must be very careful with this approach, because if we do not take care of ourselves, if we do not have small moments of relaxation, of social life, we can end up developing a depression.

• Allow your family to help you, rest from time to time, accept the support of yours.

• Have a good network of friends, people with whom to promote an adequate emotional relief, with whom to laugh, make a getaway, share experiences.

At the same time, do not be afraid to meet other people, possible partners … Being a single mother does not exclude you from the affective market, you can love again if you wish.

The figure of the absent father and how we should talk about him to our children

Sooner or later our son will ask about the absent father or the absent mother. For his sake, and for his adequate emotional development, it is convenient not to transmit a sharp hatred towards that figure, nor to fall into “idealization”.

• Children need sincerity and above all that emotional calm is transmitted to them where early hatreds or unfounded ideas do not develop.

• Let us transmit maturity and balance, let us teach the child that we make a good team, that we are good at being two.

To conclude, being a single parent is not easy and every day is a challenge and a challenge, but the bond we establish with our children is wonderful, and that is something you should be proud of every day: to be doing it. sensational.