The Importance Of The Paternal Grandmother For The Family
Many parents rely on grandparents to raise their children. Working hours, exhaustion, a heavy family burden or a period of illness are some of the reasons why grandparents come to the aid of their children and grandchildren.
However, it is almost always the maternal grandmother who fulfills this role. What about the paternal grandmother then?
The role of the paternal grandmother in the family
For some reason, in some families the role of the paternal grandmother has been relegated in time. She is only listed as the husband’s mother and mother-in-law. In fact, only on rare occasions is it possible to have encounters or quality of time with said grandmother.
This issue has become the subject of research, as some allude to the effect that a paternal grandmother can have on grandchildren compared to a maternal grandmother. However, studies are generally based on unproven hypotheses.
But beyond that, there is no question of the feelings that both maternal and paternal grandparents have towards their grandchildren. Remember to consider this aspect when sharing the time you spend with your grandmother.
Social problem: maternal or paternal grandmother
Normally the tendency to leave children with the maternal grandmother has generated conflict and jealousy on the part of the paternal grandmother. In some cases, the problem has gone so far that it has affected the couple’s relationship.
As a mother, you should be aware that your relationship with your mother-in-law can influence how your children think or feel about the paternal grandmother.
If you get on badly with her, children can develop a certain rejection towards their father’s mother. And in childhood, even feeling afraid of being with his paternal grandmother.
What to do to maintain a good relationship with the paternal grandmother?
You have to treat the matter from a reasonable perspective. To do this, take into account the following points:
- It is not advisable to force the relationship of children towards a particular grandparent.
- You have to let the children’s affection towards their paternal grandmother come naturally.
- Do not make negative comments about the paternal grandmother in the presence of the children.
- Let the children set their own preferences for their grandparents.
- As a mother, strive to maintain a good and sincere relationship with your mother-in-law. So the children will copy your example.
- Plan activities where you include it, such as a trip to the park or a meal.
- When possible, allow her to collaborate as she wishes. Either taking care of children or even supporting them financially. That will make her feel useful and loved.
Importance of paternal grandmother
The paternal grandmother is no exception when it comes to supporting the raising of her grandchildren. This can mark their development and the relationship they have with other people in the future. In addition, it is also a way to strengthen the relationship with his father.
Remember that the love that the grandmother shows or develops towards her grandchildren is as if she were giving it to her own son, now the father of her grandchildren. So you as a mother can contribute a lot to make this approach happen in the best possible way.
Foster a relationship of respect and complicity between your children and their grandmother. She is not only the mother of your husband, she is also the grandmother of your children.
The bond between your son and grandmother is not only natural, it must also be formed. Grandmothers are not surrogate mothers, but as long as they agree they can spend quality time with your children. The affective load that can be formed between grandparents and grandchildren goes beyond the genes they have in common.
The grandmother, on the other hand, can collaborate in the good relationship when she does not overrule the decisions of the parents, even if she does not agree on how you raise your children.
Finally, it must be considered that each grandfather is unique and irreplaceable. Parents should make a healthy effort to spend time with these figures.
