How To Handle A Discussion In Front Of The Children?

Children tend to feel guilty for what happens, so respect and tolerance should prevail in any couple discussion that our children witness.

In any interpersonal relationship there may be disagreements regarding the handling of situations. Although it is an unavoidable fact, it is essential that you learn to handle it assertively. This way the conflict will not spread or harm the rest of the family. You may be wondering, then, how to handle an argument in front of the children.

Here are tips on handling differences and arguments between parents. Applying these recommendations will help you so that children are not emotionally affected when you and your partner disagree.

Tips to know how to handle an argument in front of children

1.- Remember empathy

Open the dialogue by expressing respect for your partner. Let him know that his perceptions and emotions are completely valid even if you disagree in that specific situation. It is always a good gesture to put yourself in the shoes of the other and recognize him as a person.

2.- Give your partner the benefit of the doubt

Assume that neither of you have bad intentions in an argument. Even in the moments that can become uncomfortable or hostile, you have to find a balance. Not even when there are differences of opinion should you stop treating each other with love, as the couple that you are.

3- Keep in mind that they are playing on the same team

When there is no unanimity of opinion regarding discipline, you must remember that you both want a convenient solution. If there is a problem to be solved, put all the cards on the table and find the most sensible solution together. Avoid a difference polarizing you and dividing your relationship.

4.- Express yourself in a positive way

Criticizing, judging and attacking the other only creates more differences and worsens the situation. The best example you can give your children is respect and tolerance even if the situation is adverse. Each discussion that occurs should be a tool to improve in the future and not make the same mistakes.

Other important recommendations for handling an argument in front of children

• The differences between the parents should be kept in pairs, without involving or making witnesses to the children. Find a moment of privacy to make the necessary clarifications.
• If for any reason an argument escalates in front of the children, apologize when you are calm. Explain to your children that they are not guilty or responsible for what happened.
• Write down your thoughts and emotions before saying them to your partner. In this way you will have a more objective and clear vision of what generates the disagreement.
• When disagreements are very frequent or tend to turn into conflict, it is time to seek professional help. In many cases, the intervention of a third party is required to normalize the situation and family coexistence. Also, it can help you learn how to handle an argument in front of children.

What effects can aggressive arguments have in front of children?

• Children will feel tense, scared, anxious, and unprotected in this situation. Remember that the home should be a great source of care, protection and love.
• Guilty feeling. If the child feels that it is the reason for his parents to argue, the feeling of guilt will be inevitable.

• Low self-esteem. The sum of insecurity and guilt makes the child feel null and void. It is important for children to know how important they are to the family.
• Stress. Children and adolescents will feel that they have to choose a side during conflict and this will cause stress.
• Deformation of the image of parents. Boys absorb everything they see in their homes. If they meet two aggressive people at home who do not know how to express themselves without hurting, they will repeat the behavior in the future.

The role of parent requires self-control, good sense, and assertive communication. It is essential that parents’ attitudes show their children that the family bond is strong. It is not possible to have a family in which there are no disagreements, but it is possible for them to be handled in a constructive way, learning how to handle an argument in front of the children.