How Much Should We Demand From Our Children?
The balance in the requests and teachings to the little ones of the house will guarantee sensible, coherent and well-trained men and women. How much should we demand of our children? This is an important and very current debate.
Extremes will always be bad. Being too tolerant can lead to spoiled, lazy, and uncommitted children to success. Disproportionate demands, on the other hand, can make them insecure, submissive, and fearful.
The task is not simple. Maintaining a good organization and discipline, adjusted to the age and abilities of the children is one of the first recommendations.
A perfect son, is it possible?
Perfectionist parents will not necessarily have perfect children. Many times they try to make the child someone in their image and likeness, a frequent mistake. Fostering the personality of the little one, independent and confident, will bring him closer to that ideal.
The severity of children’s routines, accompanied by physical and verbal punishment, often has adverse effects. If the reprimand occurs in public places, the damage is even greater; the child does not learn, is psychologically injured and performance is very low.
Parents must agree on ways to educate children. If one is too demanding, but the other is tolerant and permissive, the message will be confusing. He will fear Daddy and try to behave up to the task, but with Mom he will do whatever he wants; This duality affects your personality.
On the other hand, it is important not to give in to the pressures of today’s dynamic world. A stressed and busy parent can easily be tempted to dictate, because negotiation takes time.
How much should we demand of our children: avoid excesses
For each age, there is a level of requirement that parents must meet. Between the ages of two and three, the child can do homework with supervision, sort his toys, and put some things on the table.
Between the ages of three and four, the infant has a learning model in imitation. He puts away and collects toys, takes off his clothes by himself and dresses with help, can wait his turn, share and play with friends.
In the four to five year stage, observation and imitation are maintained. She begins to be more responsible, picking up her toys, getting dressed, attending events, and being good. He is able to have a pet, eats alone, and can go to the bathroom without the company of an adult.
The ability to choose begins to manifest itself between the ages of five and six. At that age, he develops more autonomy and performs simple tasks, such as clearing the table or preparing his clothes. Imitation is maintained as a form of learning, but it also assimilates norms and can rebel against pressure.
Meanwhile, from six to seven years old, the child increases his autonomy. He is in a position to carry out orders to the letter. He interacts with groups of children, greets, says goodbye and thanks. He is more responsible, understands rules and has notions of justice.
Ideal accompaniment
It is advisable to accompany the child in his training process. This implies, for example, congratulating him on the achievements before emphasizing what remains to be done.
It’s about increasing your self-esteem, responsibility, and self-confidence, while giving you the tools to achieve goals. A hug from dad as a reward usually has excellent results.
When the demands are high, the child may strive to achieve the required performance, but may develop a perfectionist personality. You can also get frustrated, reveal yourself, block yourself or become insecure, without self-esteem, anxious, dependent. Sometimes the result is school dropouts.
On the opposite side, there are parents who do not set limits, are indifferent or careless with the education of their children. The result is often insecurity, integration problems, inability to follow rules, set goals and achieve them. These little ones are generally lazy and give up in the face of adversity.
How to be a democratic parent
A democratic father may demand, but he will also be willing to compromise. There will be rewards for effort and considerations for handicaps.
Children of democratic parents will understand that they are exposed to reprimands, but that they will not lose the love of their parents if they have poor grades. They will seek to strive for that loving and comforting recognition.
When determining how much we should demand of our children, it is convenient to include spaces to share as a family. Planning activities together, enjoying a good game or a walk is ideal to strengthen the bonds of love. In this way, children will feel supported and valued and will be more willing to put in effort.
