Joint Custody After Divorce
In recent years the figure of joint custody has been included to try to ensure that neither parent loses the relationship with their children. After a divorce, one of the biggest concerns, both for parents and for those who make the laws, is the well-being of the children.
But there are no magic formulas to minimize the impact of a separation on the little ones. Decisions will depend on the particular situation of each family and the age of the children.
However, this joint custody model is not always the most appropriate and is not without controversy. Here are some elements to better understand joint custody after divorce.
Joint custody after divorce on paper
In theory, joint custody is a measure that aims to alleviate the difficult situation of the children after the divorce. With joint custody, the time children spend with their mother and father are divided equally. This division can be done by weeks or fortnights. Living costs are also divided equally.
This solution may seem the most fair from many points of view. Minors can continue to have a family frame of reference despite the emotional breakdown of their parents. And this allows them to have a normal emotional development and a harmonious growth.
From the parents’ point of view, joint custody also seems like an ideal solution. On the one hand, the responsibility of the upbringing, the time, the effort and even the money dedicated to the children are shared. Neither parent will have that responsibility exclusively.
On the other hand, both the father and the mother will be able to share the daily life of their children and accompany them in their development, which will allow them to maintain a very strong affective bond with them. However, in real life and when it comes to practical things, joint custody may not be as good as it sounds.
Difficulties in real life
Joint custody after divorce can bring many practical complications . The first thing to consider is the age of the child. In general, it is recommended that children under the age of six be with their main attachment figure for as long as possible. This figure can be the father or the mother, but a small child should be prevented from passing from one to the other.
In these cases, Spanish law usually gives custody to one of the parents, usually the mother. Whoever has custody should be very generous to facilitate the child’s relationship with the other as much as possible. This will be the best for the child’s emotional well-being.
In the case of children over six years old, the idea that the little one lives one week here and another there, one week in one house and another in another, can bring many practical difficulties and generate great instability.
To try to alleviate this problem, some separated couples choose to share the house. They are the ones who take turns in the same household so that the children do not change places.
However, this option is not always advisable, at least not permanently. The shared house usually generates more conflicts between the couple due to issues of food, expenses, cleaning, etc. And this ends up having negative consequences for the child.
Positive joint custody after divorce
In practice, most couples do not want joint custody after divorce. Generally, men consider that this is not compatible with their work schedules, their time or their abilities.
However, if the couple requests it, it is essential that the father and mother have the necessary emotional maturity and generosity. They must also have the financial solvency, as well as the emotional resources and skills that are required to care for and educate a child.
Finally, the best possible situation for a child after the divorce of his parents is, without a doubt, that they maintain a relationship of respect and good communication.
Whatever the custody situation, a good relationship between the parents helps to compensate somewhat for the difficult situation that the minors must face.
