My Friends Don’t Like My Partner, What Can I Do?
You met a person and started a relationship. Sooner or later, the time to introduce your new partner to your circle of trust should happen. It is an essential step to strengthen the bond. However, when the occasion comes and things don’t go the way you thought, a concern echoes in your head: “My friends don’t like my partner … now what?”
If they are old friends and there is a lot of confidence, they will tell you up front. If they don’t know how to express it, they will show it in some way. Therefore, it is important to take time to meet and allow them to express their concerns aloud, always with respect.
My friends do not like my partner: how to approach the problem?
Before talking to your friends, it would be good to answer certain questions. For example: what do my friends mean to me? What have they thought of other couples? What is the reason why my friends do not like my partner? Is my partner aware of it? What does he think?
Sometimes friends are like sisters. This is not necessarily positive if we think of the family as a place of restriction or oppression of freedoms. And when the circle of friends is formed as a kind of clan, the arrival of someone new must go through many tests in order to gain approval.
However, do you think that is the reason why your friends do not feel affinity for your partner? If it were, it probably wouldn’t even bother you. Clearly, it is impossible for everyone to like you, or to fit into all groups. If you are in a relationship and that person makes you feel good about yourself, perhaps the rest is a matter of time.
Reflect on romantic love
There is something very important for everyone to do when in a relationship: question their own concept of love. And especially the idea of romantic love.
The purpose of the questioning is to find a solid, realistic foundation capable of providing well-being. This helps clear up the picture, get rid of outdated concepts, and leave idealizations behind. In other words, you cannot pretend to build a true relationship on medieval ideas in the 21st century.
People who think that love is synonymous with emotional dependence, jealousy, humiliation, loss of individuality and self-love, and suffering are wasting their time.
And do you like your partner?
If you identify with the dilemma of “my friends don’t like my partner,” it is important that you seriously consider whether you like your partner yourself. Remember that, in any relationship, it is important to have well-being.
And when it comes to your partner, if the answer is yes to most of the following questions, perhaps you should listen to your friends.
- Do you feel respected or criticized in every decision you make?
- Does he love you as you are or does he live finding you ‘flaws’?
- Do you like that you have friends or do you want to spend 24 hours a day together?
- Do you laugh a lot or do you suffer more, do you get bitter and cry at his side?
- Are you scared if he gets angry and you avoid confronting him?
- Are you impulsive or do you like to reflect on important steps in your life?
- Does he worry about you, your needs, your times, your fears, or does he evade every time you ask for help?
Find the balance between what your friends tell you and what you think, feel and experience with your partner. Do not invalidate the opinion of others but do not get carried away by each and every one of their words. Talk to your friends, communicate with your partner, but above all, be honest with yourself.
