What Are Your Emotional Resources For Loving And Nurturing

Every baby in the world is born with a full capacity to love. But to preserve and develop that infinite capacity to love they need to receive unconditional love from their parents. Both must strive every day to nurture the capacities of their children and be able to raise them in an environment where they love each other healthily.

At first, the child’s needs seem very simple. Mom and Dad can provide you with many pleasurable experiences. Breastfeeding on demand, for example, gives you many experiences of pleasure, as from there you can obtain immediate satisfaction of your needs for contact, nutrition and maternal body.

Sucking on the milk has a calming effect on him. And also when you have him in your arms, you have an opportunity to stimulate him with your looks and pampering. So at that stage, giving them constant stimulation, gaze, presence and protection, is equivalent for him to feel unconditionally loved.

When a child does not get what he demands – which is contact, nutrition and the mother’s body – he feels fear, he feels abandoned, he feels alone and he conceptualizes the world outside his mother’s womb as an environment full of hostility and violence. The younger the baby, the more vulnerable he feels, therefore the feeling of abandonment is more intense.

We lack emotional resources

Until now we have been raised with hostile doctrines regarding the needs of childhood, which have an absolutely distant look at the essence of childhood and its legitimate needs. These insane parenting models impose a shattering distance between what a baby needs and what he receives.

The worst of all is that to the extent that the child does not receive what he expects or needs, he experiences moments of great confusion, fear, loneliness, hostility and is faced with the need to deploy survival mechanisms, such as crying or tantrums, to get safety or attention.

Some experts affirm that at this point such a deep wound is established, which they have called “primal wound”, which after receiving it replicates the rest of life creating depressions, anxiety, emotional accidents, illnesses, violent conflicts, disability for love, empathize and take care of children who are in charge.

To avoid the terrible consequences that a parenting model leaves on humanity, which although it is the majority, is based on lack of love, rigidity and authoritarianism, we must learn to love unconditionally.

Learn to love unconditionally

Adults must relearn to love and above all we must make an effort to love children as they expect and need to be loved ; You have to learn to love them in general, regardless of whether it refers to your children, nephews or cousins, the ideal is that children receive equal treatment.

To learn to love a child unconditionally, you must be willing to register and discover to what extent you were really loved or helpless in the first years of parenting, because many times, due to the own hostility experience that was lived in childhood, you are not is able to recognize that sometimes we are unfair to children.

The truth is that many times adults act towards children from an unconscious place. Most of us, in general, find ourselves undernourished with emotional resources to love and care for children as they expect and need.

It is necessary to review the experiences you had as a child, only from there to find an emotional place from where to validate, understand, empathize, accompany and patiently attend to the requests of the child who is our son or who is in our charge.

When we don’t, his loneliness, fear, crying, screaming, tantrums, his expressions of disagreement, his restless child’s soul resonates with us; and that most likely will be responding to the result of your own fear and loneliness not attended to in a timely manner.

These baby ills are likely to respond to your own legitimate emotions and needs that were not validated or timely met as children; and these are now updated perpetuating the transmission of the “primal wound” to the new generations.

Parenting is a window to heal wounds

To raise our children with true love, all adults in the world, especially parents, must take responsibility to evolve into committed adults capable of raising happy boys and girls instead of boys and girls who make them happy.

Children must grow up in freedom, so that they can stay in tune with their essence, with that full capacity to love. Parents must ensure that they are always in contact with their inner compass, with their natural capacity to love, that they keep their original values, creativity and passions intact. The goal of every parent should be to raise children capable of being able to think for themselves, to dare to exploit, create, and pursue their own dreams.